Enough already!!!

This is a very personal blog concerning my diet. I needed to put it on my blog, so that I will come back and read it, and know that I just exposed my bad habits for others to see, as a reminder of why it's so important to eat healthy. I've not been practicing what I preach for almost a couple months now. So, it's time for some personal humility. Sometimes, I just have to realize that all the advice I've been giving people.....will come in handy for myself as well! It's time to take my own advice.

For the past 2 months, I've been allowing myself to eat badly. I've been very committed to my workout....but not so committed to my normal healthy eating habits. At first I was blaming it on the upcoming cold season.....when our bodies naturally want to get into "hibernation" mode. The cold weather approaches, the chemistry in our bodies can sense it...just like a dog or cat will grow their "winter coat" of fur to keep warm, well our bodies want to naturally store extra fat to keep warm. So, instead of recognizing this, and fighting extra hard, like I normally do....I gave into it. Aware of what I was doing, but still allowing it to happen. Each night....I mindlessly start eating bad. The same thing that got me in trouble with my weight, to begin with.
So. I just had a little chat with myself. I got in front of the bathroom mirror, and got on my case about my irrational stupidity! This is what I said to myself -----

"WHAT are you DOING?! You have been eating all the wrong foods. And you KNOW you have! You tell yourself every single day 'do not screw it up today!' You start off on the right track. Then by late afternoon, or evening, it's all over. You told yourself, 'if you don't buy it, you won't eat it. Live by that!' The boys tell you that, to remind you of your own words, for your own good. Yet, you've been ignoring them. You tell them 'they're right', but then, you buy it anyway. And then....YOU EAT IT!!! Like a dumb fool! It is so NOT worth a moment or two of the brief pleasure you feel when you indulge in foods that are seriously bad for you, that are nothing more than high calories, lots of sugar and lots of fat. No nutritional value, whatsoever. Just garbage. It just ISN'T worth that brief moment, now is it??? NO!!!! It's sooo not worth the indulgence, if it's only going to put an extra 15 lbs on the numbers on the scale, and you can see the bloating in your face, in your reflection. Your size 8's are getting snug again. It's time to start focusing on your every action. It's time to put all that energy back into your mental thinking of what and how you eat. It's time to let go of the brief moments of pleasure that are hurting you! You're exercising, SO well, every single day!!! You are taking the time to move your body, to build your muscles, your strength, your stamina, to improve your overall health by getting exercise....GOOD exercise that your friend, who's more like a brother, has put the time in to create, JUST for you, to help you improve your life. So....WHY are you destroying all that hard work you put into yourself everyday, by eating food that you know is BAD?!?!?!!!!! You don't know why? Then, STOP already! Enough is enough!!! Instead of working so hard to combat your bad diet, work hard to continue reaching for your goal! You are 5' 7". Your goal is 140 lbs. That is smack dab in the middle of your ideal body weight. It's not too much to reach for. It's not going too far. It's not inconceivable. So DO IT already!!!! You reached your 2nd big goal 2 months ago. Your first goal was to get under 200 lbs. Your second goal was to reach that 100 lb loss. Your final goal is that magic number. 140 lbs. You were sooo close, even just to the top of your ideal body weight when you reached the 100 lb marker. So, why, after you returned from your vacation did you just stop working so hard at the diet? Why??? I'll tell you....because you got lost in yourself again. You lost your focus. You have not been paying as close attention to your own details as you think. You're allowing yourself to give in to indulgences. Most indulgences are bad. You KNOW what you have to do, miss Kathi. So, it's time to stop getting mad at yourself for eating wrong.........and start paying more attention to your actions. You've put 15 lbs on since you reached your 100 lb goal. It's time to kick it back into high gear. Say goodbye to those foolish 15 lbs you gained, and hello to continuing on the right track again. Get--back--on--track. You're doing soo well with your workout. Let's show it by eating right. You have all the tools you need. You know exactly what to do. Stop being the fool. Show your tempted mind who's the boss. Tell your inhibitions that YOU are in charge of what goes in your body, therefore, you're taking control again. It's time to start listening to your own advice again, start listening to your precious children who have been trying so hard to help you realize what you're doing wrong. Start listening to your husband who does not want to see you disappointed in yourself again. Kathi, you've changed soooo much over the past year alone. You're starting to get lost again. STOP! It's hammer-time! Now, you're going to find yourself again. Now, you're going to listen! You are going to FOLLOW YOUR OWN ADVICE!!!! Because you know that it's right!"

Yep, that pretty much sums up the lecture I gave myself. Yes, I have allowed myself to fall off the diet wagon. To fall prey to the goodies on display in the stores. To go out to eat all the time. I've allowed myself to be a victim of old habits. And, now.........

I'm DONE!! No longer the victim of myself. I am going to be the conquering hero (heroine?). I will NOT buy anymore bad foods. Not a single living person on this planet needs those bad foods. Time to think of food as fuel again. And remind myself, what I already know.....and start participating in the proper healthy diet again. I'm done being the window shopper.....I'm buying into my healthy diet again. I'm investing in ME!  :-)